“God is love” is a phrase we often hear in our churches, from our pastors or our Christian family members or friends. It’s true; God is love, but what does that truly mean? We often think that God’s love is always kind, always accepting, always soft. Like no matter what we do (as believers) God will always forgive everything we do. Yet, when we look in the Bible, is that truly the case? God’s love can also be seen as tough love in many cases.
Parents’ Love, Rules, and Consequences
As children, most of the time we don’t fully understand the rules or standards our parents set for us, or why they want us to follow them. Those rules are usually set for our protection because our parents love us and care about our well-being.
But as children, we can’t always see things that way. We just see rules that limit what we want to do, or get in the way of our plans. And if we don’t like those rules, we tend to break them.
When I was a teenager, I’d break rules as teenagers often do, only to be disciplined later by my parents. When my parents disciplined me for breaking the rules, I resented them for it (as a child does for a time) because I thought they didn’t care about my feelings or wants. But looking back now, I was clearly wrong.
As we grow to maturity, we are able to see things more clearly. We’re able to better understand our parents’ motives. Most parents love their children and will do anything to protect them, and that means that sometimes their care is shown through a standard they set or tough love.
The reality of love isn’t just a warm, happy feeling all the time. Love is also fair and just. It helps shape us into good and caring people by holding us to standards that we might not understand or like at first. Through love that corrects, we are able to think of others around us instead of just ourselves.
The Qualities of Love are the Qualities of God
Within the Bible, we see God’s love for His people – like a father towards his children. 1 John 4:8 and 1 Corinthians 13 tell us of God’s deep and caring love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Since we know that God is love, we can understand that God is all of these qualities listed in 1 Corinthians 13. And He wants us to have these qualities, too. However, sometimes that love has to be tough enough to correct our behavior by giving consequences to help us become better.
Whenever I broke my family’s rules, my parents would have consequences for my misbehavior, but that consequence would always be fair. For example, if my parents said I could use our home computer for doing homework. But if I used it to play games instead, they would take away my privilege of using the computer for a few weeks.
The consequence wasn’t out of line, it was appropriate for the situation. If my younger siblings did the same thing, they would receive the same consequence. My parents’ fairness towards my siblings and I, was a form of love.
God’s Love is Fair
God shows His love through fairness, too. Showing favoritism or making exceptions isn’t real love, and in fact, causes division. And God is not divided. Numbers 23:19 says that when God makes a decision, He carries it out just as He said. His fairness is an act of love because it shows us that God judges impartially.
“God is not man, that he should lie,
or a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Has he said, and will he not do it?
Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?”
Numbers 23:19
We tend to think of God in terms of how we understand people. But God is not a human; He is not fickle like us and has no need to lie for His own gain. Therefore, what He says, He does. What He promises, He fulfills. While we’re always quick to accept and claim all of the blessings God has promised, we tend to get upset when God carries out judgment or punishment, even when our actions deserve it.
Throughout the Bible, and the Old Testament especially, we see God’s people being judged and punished by God. From that, many conclude that God is wrathful and spiteful. But we need to take a step back and remember that the Israelites had made a covenant, a promise, with God that they swore in blood they would keep. All of the blessings and consequences were laid before them.
They were well aware of all of the terms and what would happen if they kept or broke it. So when they broke the covenant they made, consequences naturally followed. God is fair. He doesn’t go back on His word just because people repent when they want to avoid the consequences of their own actions.
God’s Love Disciplines and Corrects
Don’t we often respect and value the relationships, whether friends, teachers, or loved ones in our lives that hold us accountable? Those relationships with people who aren’t afraid to call us out when we’re doing something wrong or irresponsible? Don’t we usually appreciate those the most? Why is that? Because we know that those people are not rebuking us just to make us feel bad. They remind us of our potential, how we could be better. They push us to become the best versions of ourselves.
When we think about the terms consequence or discipline, they almost always have a negative connotation. But let’s shift our viewpoint on those terms. Both are used in the same manner, that is, to hold us accountable in what we say and do. And they motivate us to have better behavior in the future.
God’s love and discipline is the same. Many times the words of the Bible make us uncomfortable. It’s easier to disagree with them and point at God as intolerant and cruel rather than genuinely reflect on our own behavior, and why God has set certain standards.
God’s Words Help Us Reflect and Improve
However, the words of the Bible aren’t meant to harm us, but to make us stop and reflect on our actions and words. They’re there to motivate us to repent and change so that we can become more like God who is holy. Hebrews 12 reminds us of this.
“For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises everyone he accepts as his son.”
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?
Hebrews 12:6-7
Despite what the world may think or say, God doesn’t just punish people for the fun of it. God doesn’t willingly afflict us, nor does He want to (Lamentations 3:33). As the verse above says, God disciplines those He loves. He wants believers to be like Him so that He can dwell with them.
If we keep on sinning thinking that God will always forgive us, do we really have a heart to obey God’s Word? Can God really come down to be with His creation if they remain in sin? No, He cannot. Sin and holiness cannot mix.
So, contrary to what some might say, God isn’t always accepting of our attitudes, words, or actions. If we claim to believe in God and Jesus, but don’t really understand the standards set in the Bible, then we can’t carry out our lives of faith correctly. Instead, we’ll be acting according to our own thoughts of what God wants instead of what He actually said. So, God wants us to study His Word and understand it so that we can carry out a correct life of faith according to His word.
God’s Love Holds Us Accountable
While we love that warm feeling we get when we’re loved, it’s important to remember that same love should hold us accountable, too.
What happens if there’s no accountability?
It’s usually extremely evident when we come across a spoiled child who isn’t held accountable for their actions. They throw tantrums, are selfish, and have no concern for anyone other than themselves. And who do we usually hold responsible for that? The parents. It is their duty to hold their children accountable for their behavior.
Parents discipline their children to make them reflect on their behavior and help them change for the better. As we grow, our understanding of things grows, too. We are able to look back and see why what we did or said was wrong, so we don’t repeat our past mistakes. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 12,
“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned”.
Matthew 12:36-37
The Only One to Blame is Ourselves
Jesus tells us this so we can be more mindful of our own actions and words within our lives of faith. As we become more mature believers, we should freely keep God’s word just as how we keep our countries’ laws freely without being told. We should do the right thing because we understand the necessity to. If we know the right thing to do, but choose to not do it, then we not only have the possibility of hurting others, but we hurt ourselves too. Our own words and actions will act as a witness against us.
“The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day”.
John 12:48
When we know what God desires from us but don’t follow it, then we have no excuse and we will be held accountable. Have you had any teachers or even your parents, who pushed you hard to help you improve? Some of the most memorable teachers I had pushed me to always be better. If they saw me not putting in enough effort, they would scold me a little and motivate me to level up my skills.
God’s Love Should Motivate Us to Change
God, through his heart of love, disciplines us so we can level up our faith. We have to meet His level instead of expecting Him to come down to ours. As we study God’s word more deeply and grow in our understanding, we can clearly see God’s heart for us throughout everything He does.
When we look all throughout the Bible, we see God trying time and again to create a people who believe in His word and keep it. He wants to be with His creation because He loves them, but we have been corrupted with sin. So God has been working to teach us about His holy ways, to help us overcome sin.
When it was clear that we were unable to do that on our own, God sent Jesus to give us a way to reconnect with Him by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. But that doesn’t mean we just have a free pass without having to change our behavior to become more holy.
God’s Love is Tough Love Sometimes
We must remember that God’s love isn’t just warm fuzzies. It should challenge us, rebuke us, even make us a little uncomfortable at times with ourselves with the goal of making us change to be more holy like God and Jesus. Paul writes to remind us in 2 Timothy 3:16,
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness”
As a blacksmith forges a sword, he constantly puts it into the fire and beats out the impurities so that the finished product can be strong enough to withstand battles. Because God loves us, He disciplines us to help correct our spiritual lives of faith so that He will be able to reconnect with us, His creation. The “rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness” spoken of in the passage above remind us that we are God’s instruments for Him to use to save others as well.
So when it seems like God is punishing you, try to take a step back from your own thoughts and look at it from God’s perspective. Maybe God is using those events to shape and mold you into a more mature believer, making you complete through His word so that one day, you can reunite with Him.
Written by Kenny
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