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Do I Really Need to Forgive People Who Hurt Me? - As It Is in Heaven

Do I Really Need to Forgive People Who Hurt Me?

People do bad things. Nothing new there. We’ve been wronging each other for thousands and thousands of years. Me too–I’ve done my share of things that hurt others and I’ve also been wronged. And for the first time, I think I can safely assume that you as well have been on the giving and receiving ends of wrongdoing. 

Where am I going with this? The concept of forgiveness. 

I don’t want to hear it, some of you may think. You don’t know what I’ve been through. That’s right, I don’t. But what the Bible says about forgiveness is for all of us. And while sometimes we may wish to skip over it, we’ll see that forgiveness has a vital connection with our salvation. 

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)

In Matthew 18, Jesus instructs his disciples on how they should lead godly lives and how to treat one another. Things like having the humility of a child, not causing their brothers or sisters to stumble, and how they should deal with sin amongst themselves. This then prompts a question from Peter and results in Jesus giving the following parable. 

The Question

“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” he asked.  Jesus famously answered, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  And no, this doesn’t mean that we should keep a tally and stop forgiving after 77, but that we should always forgive. 

The Parable

He goes on to say that the kingdom of heaven is like a servant who owed his master a large sum of money. Some estimates put this in the millions of dollars–some even to the several billions. Nevertheless, it’s a sum that probably none of us would be able to shell out. When he couldn’t pay it, the natural course was for everything–wife, children, belongings–to be taken away from him and sold to cover the debt. 

However, upon seeing the servant beg, the master cancelled all the debt and sent him on his way. The master had every right and all the power to completely take this man’s livelihood away because of the debt he owed. But he gave mercy instead. 

need to forgive, forgiveness, Jesus, God, debt, sin

Take a moment to consider what generosity and love the master showed his servant. What great a weight that was lifted off the servant’s shoulders. An enormous debt forgiven and resolved.

Many of us, in our joy, would probably go find someone who owed us a debt and ‘pay it forward.’ But what did that servant do? 

The Missed Opportunity to Forgive

He went out and found another fellow servant who owed him money, much less than the value that he had owed his master. He choked this servant and demanded to be paid back. When his fellow servant couldn’t pay back the money immediately, even after begging and promising to pay him back if he could just be patient, the forgiven servant threw the debtor into prison.

When the master learned of this, he was furious. He was enraged with this servant who was shown great mercy but showed no mercy to someone who owed him much less. The master then handed the servant over to the jailors to be tortured until he paid back everything he owed. (Matthew 18:23-35)

To put it in perspective, I used to ride my bike in our driveway a lot, with the family cars parked there. My parents often warned me to be careful not to crash into the cars and damage them (or myself). But I remember one day, I did just that. A long scratch of paint gone and a dent that may or may not have already been there. As a second grader, it was a debt I could never dream of repaying. As my parents, they forgave me. 

Now imagine I went inside and found that my then-toddler brother had scribbled all over one of my pictures. Instead of being kind, understanding, and forgiving like my parents had been, what if I had started screaming and kicking, pushing and slapping him? There’s a huge difference in the seriousness of these two wrongs. 

need to forgive, forgiveness, Jesus, God, debt, sin

Why We Need to Forgive Others

You’d think that someone who had such an enormous, unpayable debt forgiven would be forgiving to others. But before we judge, we should know and consider that we are that servant. Have we forgiven everyone who has wronged us?

In James 2, we are warned to be merciful and not judge others or else we will also receive judgment.

…because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

James 2:13

We have all done wrong. We are all deserving of judgment. So how could we judge or be unmerciful to others without considering our own debts? As sinners, the natural consequence of sin is death (Romans 6:23). If nobody steps in, then that’s our end result.

We’re that servant, on our knees, begging for that debt to be forgiven. And God, the merciful master, forgave us that debt in the form of sending Jesus Christ. Jesus sacrificed his life to pay our debt, dying in our place so we don’t have to. He opened a way to God for sinners like us.

Is there anything greater than this? When you really think about it, there isn’t. It has to do with life and death itself.

Our Debt That Has Been Paid

In comparison, the debt we owed – sin – is greater than anything people could ever do to us. So, God expects us to forgive all other debts, because in the face of what He’s done for us, everything else is futile. So, we must forgive those who have wronged us. Jesus forgave even those who nailed him to the cross and stood by, mocking him. 

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.

Luke 23:34-35

This can be a hard truth to swallow and a hefty task to undertake. But imagine yourself coming into the presence of God, carrying your grudges. Could you hold them in front of God? This is the master who sacrificed His own Son to pay a ransom for our lives. We wouldn’t be able to hold those grudges confidently, as if they were justified. 

If we come to God with our hands full, we won’t be able to receive His forgiveness.  And if we don’t even try to forgive others, how do you think God would see us?

Wouldn’t He call us ungrateful? People who don’t understand the sacrifice that was made in order to pay our debt. 

The Result of Not Forgiving

And if we don’t forgive, it has serious repercussions. 

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. 

Matthew 6:14-15

The Bible tells us plainly right here. If we don’t forgive others, we won’t be forgiven. And if our sin isn’t forgiven, then we will die for it. In other words, we won’t see heaven.  It’s a heavy price to pay and a situation we don’t want to find ourselves in. 

I get it though–easier said than done. There are horrific things in this world and most of the time it’s people that inflict these atrocities against other people. Forgiving isn’t easy. It’s hard enough to the point where it sometimes seems impossible. But if Jesus and the apostles and prophets who were martyred could forgive those who wrongly murdered them, then it’s up to us, as believers of God, to try and follow in those footsteps (Acts 7:60).

Depending on your situation, it may be hard to accept, but we should keep this in mind: as much as God wants to see you redeemed, He wishes the same for the person you’re having a hard time forgiving. For all of us–God wishes for us to forgive and be forgiven. So that, in the end, we will be able to come before Him with hands ready to receive salvation.

Written by Samantha


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