Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long...
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”–and you forgave the guilt of my sin…
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
Psalms 32
Hiding in Life and From God
Growing up, I made my presence known by entering every room hunched over, eyes covered. “If I can’t see you, you can’t see me.” I’m sure it was amusing to the adults. Is she deathly shy or an attention seeker? It was a hiding place that exposed more than it hid. Still makes me cringe when I think about it now.
What’s worse, was the realization that God must see me that same way when I’m not being honest with Him. As someone living out a life of faith, there are certain things I have determined to do, promises I’ve made with God. Study the Bible daily, share what I’ve learned by teaching others, and being a living sacrifice to Him.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.
Romans 12:1
But when I couldn’t do those things, everything and everyone but me was blamed as the problem.
It’s because of my stressful job, it’s because of my health, it’s because of this situation–that’s why I’m struggling to live out my life of faith. If those external things were gone, I’d be doing okay.
It was like how I was as a child, hiding in plain sight.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
The more I denied that maybe my problems weren’t arising just from the external, but from within my own heart and mindset towards God, His word, and His work, the more my spirit was tormented. My life of faith acted like my body does at 110° Fahrenheit. Completely unable to do anything. My spirit that should be living for God and doing His will was lounging on the couch complaining about the heat. And when it did get up to work, it was weak, slow, ineffective.
Maybe I’m the problem…
After acknowledging my own shortcomings, I wasn’t met with a slap to the face or disownment, but with God’s grace. Rather than hiding or denying a sin and suffering for it, I found a new hiding place. A hiding place where I’m not lying to myself or hiding from shame, but a place where God allows me to honestly reflect on myself and to grow within His Word.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
God sees us when we ignore or hide our sin; like a child hiding their face, everything is exposed. But He’s not waiting to destroy us for our wrongdoing–it’s God’s heart that we are honest before Him and ask for His help and forgiveness.
Once we understand the grace we’ve received, that should motivate and encourage us to do better next time, in turn, sinning less and doing more godly things instead. Take some time to be honest with yourself and God–uncover your eyes and see what He has for you, the care and guidance He is waiting to give you.
Written by Samantha
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