Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:9
Just at face value, this proverb has a lot of wisdom. Who wants to share a house or a room with someone who is always quarrelsome? Have you ever had to do that? When the person you’re living with stirs up trouble and there is always a tense atmosphere hanging in the air? This proverb should help us reflect on ourselves and how we share our space with those around us. We should be peaceful, not quarrelsome, lest we make the other person want to live on the corner of the roof just to get away from us.
But if we start to dig a little deeper, we can find a more spiritual meaning in this proverb as well. First, we have to consider a couple things: what do wives and husbands represent in the Bible, and what does the Bible say about the house where they’re living?
A Peaceful Marriage
God describes Himself as a husband to his people. That would mean his people are likened to a wife (Hosea 2:19-20, Jeremiah 31:32). Think about the people you have lived with, whether it be a spouse, parent, sibling, or roommate. If you’re sharing a house, you would want things to run smoothly. But what if they don’t? What if one party is constantly causing trouble by not cleaning up, arguing, just giving off those bad vibes? Then it becomes an extremely uncomfortable living situation.
Many problems can be resolved after getting to know one another more. Learning each others’ values, habits, and what is important to them in order to live peacefully. But if one side doesn’t put in any effort to know the other well to live in peace together, would you want to keep living together?
It’s said that the best marriages are ones with people who have many things in common – values, interests, and the like. People who understand each other. It’s the same for us and God. God wants to be with people who share His values and understand Him. But if we are quarrelsome partners for God, then according to the Bible, it would be better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a home with us.
What does being quarrelsome towards God look like? Are we quick to criticize the Word without bothering to understand it? Do we assume God’s intentions and heart without putting in the effort to understand why He moves in certain ways throughout the Bible? When things go wrong in our lives, do we automatically point the finger of blame at God?
Knowing Our Spouse
We are meant to be a bride for God, but do you think you are prepared right now? Do you know what God expects of you and wants for you, and do you do those things? Can He share the deep things about Himself to you as a trustworthy loved one?
God is the Word (John 1:1). So if we know the words of the Bible, then we can know God. We can share His values, understand Him and won’t fight back against His will. We wouldn’t be hostile to Him or unable to keep His commands (Romans 8:7). Just as you get to know your roommate, spouse, or family members, and come to an understanding of their needs, things become easier. There is less misunderstanding and quarrels, and more patience and peace.
So if we love God, we should take the time to get to know Him and His commands, including those spoken through Jesus.
Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”
John 14:23
How to Live in Harmony
God’s ultimate goal has always to be to dwell in us. In the Bible, we are also likened to homes or temples for the spirit of God to live in.
Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?
1 Corinthians 3:16
But if our temple and home is hostile, if it’s dirty with sin because we don’t put in effort to keep it clean, then do you think God’s spirit would want to live there? Would you feel comfortable residing inside your own heart if you were God?
If we want God and Jesus to make their home in us, then we have to get to know them through the words of the Bible. We have to make sure our home, our hearts are clean, loving, peaceful…not quarrelsome.
Just like in our physical and daily lives – a house that is a mess and is shared with someone who is agitating and keeps fighting – that’s no place that anyone would willingly want to reside in. So in order to create this place within us for God and Jesus, we have to know their standards, their teachings and obey them.
This is how we show love. What good are empty promises? If you lived with someone who always said they would clean or change their habits, but didn’t, how long would that arrangement last? So, now that we know God is our husband, let us make the effort to create a peaceful home to dwell together in. One that is clean, full of love, and true understanding.
Written by Samantha
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