Picture this. You’re at a church gathering, everything is coming to an end and it’s about time for the closing prayer. They’re about to choose someone to pray and everyone starts to get nervous. You know the drill… smile, don’t make eye contact, don’t act suspicious, close your eyes, get ready to pray. But then, you hear your name. “Gabriella, will you pray for us?” My whole body seizes, and I forget how to talk. But I’m somehow able to mutter a nervous, “Sure,” with a smile on my face. Have you ever felt like this before? Or is it just me?
I used to fear prayer with others….especially public prayer. You grow up hearing the most eloquent words and scriptures rolling off the tongues of others, words that you’d probably have to look up in the dictionary later, but also try to make note of for the future. And then, it’s my turn to pray. I freeze. The embarrassment swells as I worry that my prayer isn’t as good as others. I fumble my words and frantically try to think of an intellectual word, or commonly used phrase that others say. I always wondered, “Is my prayer long enough? This person usually prays for a long time, maybe I can go a little longer…Oh no, am I repeating myself??”
This is how I thought prayers should be prayed. And that was the problem. My prayers were aiming to satisfy others. But a prayer should be genuine communication with God, a solemn request for help, an expression of thanks to our Father. So it’s time that we must ask ourselves, how do I pray a prayer that pleases God?
What to Say When You Pray?
First, let’s consider what we’re praying for when we pray. What are we focused on? What’s at the center of the prayer? Is it for your own desires and for God to give you the things you want? Or is it about God and what He wants?
Sometimes I’ve found myself praying for the same things over and over, and it felt so disingenuous. I would ask God to help me on tests coming up, for my true love, for my biggest dreams to come true, and what I realized was that all my prayers had one thing in common: me. I felt silly realizing that every time I prayed, all the attention was on myself and what God could do for me. If only I read Matthew 6:7-8 much sooner.
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Okay, so God already knows what we need. So all those things in our daily lives that we continuously ask for become like babble to God. Padding the prayer with tons of extra words to sound more holy or intelligent also sound like babble to God. He knows what we want so we should just get to the point.
Then what should we pray for? What if we flipped the script when we prayed? Instead of us asking for what God can do in our lives, what if we ask Him about what He wants and what we can do for Him?
Change the Focus
Oftentimes, our prayers are outwardly or earthly focused. We pray for the things we see in our everyday lives. For the things we want, for the things that have nothing to do with our faith or our relationship with God. And in doing that, we lose sight of what or Who is most important: God. When we pray, we need to lift our eyes and pray for things that are focused on the heavenly things of God.
Thankfully, Jesus instructed us on what to pray for in the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6. And the very first request that’s made in that prayer is for God’s kingdom to come and God’s will to be done.
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:9-10
So this gives us a clear focus for our prayers. Ask God about His will and His kingdom. Well do I even know what God’s will is? What about His kingdom? Isn’t that in heaven? Why would I need to pray about it?
If we don’t have a clear and firm answer to those questions, then that’s something we need to add to our prayers. “God, what is Your will? What is your plan? Not only for my life but for the whole world?”
A Prayer About God, Not Me
When we stop focusing on ourselves and take a moment to consider God Himself, we might find that we’re not actually as well attuned to God’s heart and will as we might have thought. And that’s okay. Because once you realize that, then you can ask God to help you learn more about Himself and His will. That’s what God really wants from us anyways. He wants to be genuinely sought out and for us to know His heart and plan.
So as you get ready to end your day with prayer, take a moment this time to change the focus. Instead of focusing on myself and what God can do for me, try just asking God how He is. Ask Him about the work He has been doing and what His will is. As you start to consider these things, you will find that God will answer those prayers in ways you could have never expected. He will draw you closer to Him in ways you’ve never experienced before.
By being closer to God, we will learn more about His will and His kingdom, what pleases Him, what grieves His heart. While we focus on God and His concerns, God will take care of the other things in our lives. God knows what each of us needs better than we do ourselves. So let’s wait on God. Let’s set our eyes and focus on Him. And it all starts with a prayer.
I love those who love me and those who seek me find me.
Proverbs 8:17
Written by Gabriella
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